Lessons Quickly Learned

We've been drinking from the proverbial fire hose for the last two and a half weeks, climbing that ever so steep learning curve of new parenthood and trying to raise a baby with minimal residual damage. So far I think we're passing, aided mostly by the fact that we seem to have gotten a really sweet baby boy (knock on wood...no, seriously...do it) who makes our jobs a lot easier. He's eating like a heavyweight champ (or a 9-month pregnant me), can sleep through the deafening blows of a jackhammer (luckily for that jackhammerer, who would've gotten an earful from this hormonal new mom had he woken my baby), smiles inadvertently as he sleeps (which I pretend is completely intentional and in response to my utter hilarity), and is an absolute delight to have in our lives. We've learned more lessons about parenting in 18 short days than we ever thought possible -- who knew that newborns were such effective teachers? Some of the highlights:

I would not medal in Diaper Changing Olympics. Baby boys require a certain swiftness and agility at diaper changings, which unfortunately Mother Nature forgot to include in the Maternal Instinct product suite. The clock starts ticking as soon as that dirty diaper is opened up, and by god, you'd better be ready. We've learned that even the tiniest babies have the uncanny ability to shower themselves and everything within a 3 foot radius (like Mom's face, or worse, their own) with pee. I'm thinking of putting a stopwatch by the changing table and starting time trials to get these two newbie parents up to world class diapering speed.

Karma is, indeed, a bitch. Much to my mother's amusement, I've discovered what it is like to have an extremely alert newborn, one who prefers long, intimate gazes at the ceiling fan over nice, serene, please-oh-please-give-mommy-the-chance-to-take-a-shower naps. The prolonged awake time inevitably leads to a very overtired baby, who requires some creative (read: absurd) singing and bouncing and cooing and swaddling before he'll sleep. After hearing war stories from my own newbornhood -- when I would only relieve my poor parents for 20 minute nap intervals -- I guess I shouldn't have been surprised that "sleepy baby" doesn't really run in the family. But awake babies are so much more fun than sleeping ones, right? Right?

There is a place in the market for round-the-clock washer/dryer combos. I have never, in my entire life, done more laundry than I have during the last two and a half weeks. (Ahem, family and past roommates, that speaks more to the current volume than to my prior lack of hygiene and cleanliness.) During our first night at home -- which was a certifiable disaster of epic proportions, and the details of which can only be shared in person over a cold beer -- Aaron and I did 6 loads of laundry between the hours of 10:00pm and 4:00am. (Summary: we had newborn size diapers, a bigger-than-newborn-size newborn, not enough changes of clothes/sheets/swaddles/anything, and a lot of pee explosions.) In addition to having an always occupied baby hamper, we've been haunted by baby laundry's uniquely deceptive property: you think you have a tiny load to fold, but then you realize that no, it's just the clothes that are tiny, and you actually have 3x more individual outfits to put away. So to all you aspiring entrepreneurs out there, someone should invent a washer/dryer that literally never stops working. Maybe it could even fold -- or at least lay out flat and unwrinkled -- the miniature clothing. I would pay anything. An.y.thing.

Motherhood is the most precious gift I've ever been given. All humor aside (briefly, I promise), these last 18 days have been the richest, fullest, most incredibly transformative of my whole life. Sure, I've never slept less or been quite so unsure of what the heck I'm doing. I've never worn clothes that were so consistently soiled with breast milk or spit-up or pee. I've never had a schedule that was so wholly dependent on someone else's meal plan. But I've never been so blissfully content to watch a perfect, tiny person sleep, or to wake up at 2:00AM and rock my little love back to sleep after he has eaten. Sometimes I wake him up early from naps because I miss holding him. I love snuggling him up under my chin so I can smell his little head and put his silky, chubby baby cheek against mine. This experience has already changed me in ways I could never have anticipated, and I'm so looking forward to the journey that still lies ahead.

Recent Milestones

• Weight: 9 pounds 8.8 ounces
• Height: 21.5 inches
• Started making eye contact and staring at faces
• Can hold his own head up for brief intervals
• Found and started sucking his thumb for the first time
• Started saying "mama"
• Just kidding about that last one
• Wanted to see if anyone is paying attention