KATE: (to Aaron) "Back away!!! Don't let him touch you! He's covered in honey!"
AARON: "Where's the honey?"
OWEN: (Proudly) "All over me."
AARON: "Why?"
KATE: "Because the chicken was burned so I gave him honey to dip it in, and he spread it all over his belly."
AARON: "Why didn't he have a shirt on?"
KATE: "Because Eliza puked all over him."
ACT II: 05:45PM January 13, 2014 - Set in kitchen where you cannot see a single inch of unoccupied countertop. Eliza is showing the early signs of discontentment after being stuck in her high chair for too long. Owen is diligently dumping out the contents of every can of PlayDoh on the floor. Kate is cooking Owen's dinner, cleaning up after Eliza's dinner, packing Owen's lunch for tomorrow, and wondering if someone could please pour her an extra large glass of wine.
OWEN: "Mommy, I gonna watch Ewiza on my stool." (Drags a stool over to Eliza's highchair and proceeds to steal every Cheerio off her tray, his sweet revenge after being denied his own bowl of cereal.)
ELIZA: (Losing her shit) "WAHHHHHHHHHH."
(Kate lifts Eliza -- who is covered in pear juice and caked rice cereal, and therefore very justified in her cries of complaint -- and puts her in jumperoo seat while rushing back to the stove to flip the chicken tenders. Meanwhile, Owen goes over to "help Ewiza bounce," thereby multiplying the force of every jump and essentially making his sister do negative Gs. Kate turns just in time to see a familiar looking expression on Eliza's face.)
KATE: (In that deep, slow-motion, Sandlot kind of voice) "Nooooooo!!!! Waaaaaatch outttttttt."
(At that very moment, Eliza projectile vomits all over Owen's left arm. Owen looks down, pauses in a moment of utter shock and panic, and then he, too, loses his shit.)
OWEN: "GET IT OFF, MOMMY!!!!!!"
ACT III: 04:50PM January 13, 2014 - Set in an immaculate home, peaceful and happy. Two sweet children are playing gently with one another as their loving nanny/second-mother finishes putting away the fifth load of folded laundry she's done today.
KATE: (Cheerfully ignorant of what the next hour holds) "Hey guys! I'm home!"
I did not realize that you were still writing! I just spent the last few minutes hysterically laughing , yet remembering so, so many incidents from the past from my own early parenting time. I must admit, you have a much greater sense of humor through all of this than I did! Wonderful pictures and videos, and your narration makes it all fantastic!
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